I resist the word and concept of “sexuality.” What the hell does it mean? Who turns you on? Who penetrates you? Who is fertile? It’s all about categories and labels. I have no doubt Montgomery had access to eroticism and that it might even be orgasmic. Obviously, since she had two sons, she was fertile and penetrated. Whether she enjoyed it is a different issue. Clearly, she chose it. Not for “sex” reasons but because she wanted the children.

I need a new word to replace sexuality that is not about whom you want to fuck, but about the development of broad intimacies over many kinds of situations, expecially the kinds that involve intense arousal. I suspect there are as many foxhole lovers as foxhole faithful.

Male arousal is often about challenge, power, danger. Female arousal is about access, safety, trust. I don’t think they compare . Do you know the BBC series about Lily Langtry that was on Masterpiece Theatre some time ago? She was a dear friend of Oscar Wilde and also the Prince of England. Or think of “Duchess of Langtry.” I fear that American sexuality is often just a matter of marketing enhancers and presentation.